Why I Need A Girlfriend (?)

Like the hard clay ground of the Sonoran Desert refuses to soak in the rain, so my heart refrains from soaking in truth, even if it's flooded.

It's a little hard to explain. Sometimes I'll stop myself from making comments that my Christian-type friend will correct me and say "You shouldn't feel that way, because you don't need to." Everyone has an opinion on everything. Yeah, usually they're right. I mean, I don't need a girlfriend. But back to the above image. There are some tough things in my life to which I know the reasonable answer. And we've said before that the longest distance in our life is the distance from our head to our heart. What's it take for me to soak up the truth? Water isn't taken in, the rich topsoil is washed away, and nothing grows. Perfect. Nothing changes after the flash flood. Camelback Mountain is green for a couple of days, but before you know it we're choking up the dust of our own nothingness. Ok, Ok, a little melodramatic. But still.

I suppose the horticultural answer would be to till the ground. I really don't know what that would look like towards the benefit of the image I've created. My heart is hard. It has to be pierced and turned before truth can soak in, or else it'll continue to skim right across the top. Is that fitting?

Here's my issue. I want a girlfriend. I don't know why. That's the toughie. I know all the answers. I know that Jesus wants to be my everything, and I know He's sufficient enough. Do I disbelieve him? Is that my problem? And what if I'm not supposed to ever get married? How will I know? I feel that it'd be rash to say that either God wants me to be single, or God wants me to be married - in the future at least. I can take it day by day though. I do know that God wants me to be single right now. So I guess I can live in that. Actually, that gives me a lot of comfort. That's why Jesus said "Don't worry about tomorrow." If I can just remember that God's in control either way... I'm set.

Of course, I don't doubt all forget all this by tomorrow.