Why does God love me?

Hah. Yeah right.

I'll never figure that one out. 

But let me tell you. He does. But when I see the extremity of how big and glorious and awesome he is, compared with how effed up I am... multiplied by the depth of His love? I don't get it.

But it's good.

Why I'm A Grammar Nazi

I don't do it just to be a conceited prick. 

Well, not usually at least that's not the initial intent. I often let it go when I'm with close friends, but inside me, there's a little itch that's begging me, saying "Come on. You know it's wrong. Say it. Make them feel stupid." But again. I'm not trying to be a conceited prick.

As many people try to point out, you're/your is my biggest peeve. You're is the contracted form of "you are." Therefore, if I am frustrating you by this note, you would say "you're frustrating me!" If you tell me "your frustrating me!" Then I'll say "What about my frustrating you?" It's/its is much more forgivable, because so few get it right. Its is possesive, it's is contracted for it is. 

I only care because of this: the American English language is on a rapid decline. If we continue to lower our standards even just a little bit, the next day it's a little more, then a little more, and before long wre all tlking lk dis an it mkes mi wan2 pnch a bb. 

It's not difficult. Really it's not. Even in an SMS, it doesn't take that much longer to type out full words, even punctuation. 

Of course, I'm talking to people on a blogging website, not on Myspace, so you all know where I come from. Oh well.

Why I Need A Girlfriend (?)

Like the hard clay ground of the Sonoran Desert refuses to soak in the rain, so my heart refrains from soaking in truth, even if it's flooded.

It's a little hard to explain. Sometimes I'll stop myself from making comments that my Christian-type friend will correct me and say "You shouldn't feel that way, because you don't need to." Everyone has an opinion on everything. Yeah, usually they're right. I mean, I don't need a girlfriend. But back to the above image. There are some tough things in my life to which I know the reasonable answer. And we've said before that the longest distance in our life is the distance from our head to our heart. What's it take for me to soak up the truth? Water isn't taken in, the rich topsoil is washed away, and nothing grows. Perfect. Nothing changes after the flash flood. Camelback Mountain is green for a couple of days, but before you know it we're choking up the dust of our own nothingness. Ok, Ok, a little melodramatic. But still.

I suppose the horticultural answer would be to till the ground. I really don't know what that would look like towards the benefit of the image I've created. My heart is hard. It has to be pierced and turned before truth can soak in, or else it'll continue to skim right across the top. Is that fitting?

Here's my issue. I want a girlfriend. I don't know why. That's the toughie. I know all the answers. I know that Jesus wants to be my everything, and I know He's sufficient enough. Do I disbelieve him? Is that my problem? And what if I'm not supposed to ever get married? How will I know? I feel that it'd be rash to say that either God wants me to be single, or God wants me to be married - in the future at least. I can take it day by day though. I do know that God wants me to be single right now. So I guess I can live in that. Actually, that gives me a lot of comfort. That's why Jesus said "Don't worry about tomorrow." If I can just remember that God's in control either way... I'm set.

Of course, I don't doubt all forget all this by tomorrow.

Why I'm Doing This

I always ask why. Sometimes aloud, sometimes to myself.

Because if you don't - then really what's the point?

Not that I need to explain myself to anyone, but I'm still trying to get this life figured out. It's taking a long time, and I don't think I'll solve the mystery anytime soon. But as I'm discovering myself, as trite as that may sounds, I want others to learn from me. You see, I'm not OK coasting by. And I know that there are others like me. There are people who want a deeper meaning from their life. There's more than the paycheck, more than the good times, more than the bad times. There's joy in grief, comfort in helplessness, beauty in simplicity.

I'm looking for something real. Not the simple questions we grew up with, not questions that reveal facts, but questions that reveal truth and meaning. I'm not trying to be a philosophical, falsely intellectual yuppie. I'm just trying to make you think. Instead of "what is beautiful" or "who is beautiful?" stare humbly at the stars and ask "Why beauty?" What does it mean for something to be beautiful? Why is there a concept called beauty? Where did it come from? Why?

I swear, I won't always be this abstract. I'll probably have a lot of blogs telling you why I like things. Some may say why I don't like things. But don't take this blog, or life, or anything at face value. Never stop asking why. That's why I'm doing this. So I can answer my own "whys" and maybe get a little bit better sense of it myself.